Doll Is Mine
by milenakris
Summary: Story is inspired from a song belongs to Blonde Redhead, Doll is Mine.. This is a deathly dangerous love story in which passion and hate fostered each other for decades. This is the story of Bella and her sire Edward.
1. First Sight

**S. Meyer owns Twilight.**

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_**Chapter 1**_

_While soft winds brushing my face slowly, I can feel the end of the summer by the smell in the air. And now there I'm walking in those streets where my childhood passed a very long time ago, without knowing where i am heading or what i will be doing._

_Maybe he is still there, at the same house where i left him 50 years ago. But well, that was a little chance, he would never stay at one place more than five years. Anyway somehow i was hoping to find him there. Remembering those green eyes and his velvet voice... I can still feel the thrill. Memories of my human life are not clear of course but as hardly as i can remember, i was feeling a bit scared and eager at the same time, when i first saw him, well don't forget the shyness. But how could i know that first sight would change my life for forever. My name is Isabella Marie Swan and yes, this is my story._

I was borned in London at the end of 19th century, as an only daughter of my small and lonely family. Those were really hard times, full of unrest, soldiers everywhere and possibility of war discussed at any doorstep. I was living with my father, since my mom died five years ago.

Maybe times were harder for people like us yet there were still high society parties held in the famous ballrooms of the city. Days were passing usual for me, very monotonous. I was taking care of the children of a rich family in the day time. But city was getting more colourfull by the time darkness fall down. Artist, poets and young people were fulfilling the every corner and my best friend Alice who was daughter of the family i worked with, was always eager to join these entertainments and as a matter of fact i was dragged by her into those parties.

That summer started as usual also, but differently from the previous ones, we had visitors this time. Young men were coming to talk my father about my possible marriage choices which i wasn't very pleased about. When it comes to Charlie, he only considered how i would last a comfortable and safe life if i get marry one of those guys, especially the rich ones. But if you ask me i was looking for a bit adventure at the age of seventeen, not a husband.

Just turned to 17 that summer and since 15 i knew, i had some kind of influence over men, knew i was taking attention when i walk into a place and feel all the looks over me. Women with jealousy and men staring longing. But to tell the truth in those times i wasn't aware of the benefits about using this advantage.

It was end of the August when I first saw him. Alic and i all dressed up in our best formal wears going out. I forgot to mention that Alice was always generous and giving me her clothes. Her family was one the most famous families of the town. And I was lucky having them close to me. They had always treated me like i was from the family. And that night we had gone to a stupid theme party again wearing a strapless vine colour dress, feeling a little bit uneasy knowing i was taking attention inside it. The party was boring as usual, very important people talking important subjects. What could I ask more? But they always say, careful what you wish for. And sometimes you have to be careful indeed.

All of a sudden, still don't know why, i felt the need to turn my head to see around while listening pointless Alice talking, and there i saw him in a second, talking to some noble men in a very confident manner while being watched by curious and admiring gazes of ladies all corners of the ball. I needed to know who he is, what he is doing here. Sure, I hadn't seen him before, I couldn't help to ask Alice:

"Do you know who the guy there is with reddish-brown hair and green eyes, speaking right now with Mr. Black?" still keeping to stare at him, completely ignoring annoying looks of Alice's friends.

She answered with a giggle in a quiet gossip tone."Ohh, he is a newcomer here honey, they say he is from aristocracy but i don't know i think he is too hot to be a cold aristocrat."

She kept laughing and i was getting nervous to know more about him. And I managed to grab her from arm and begged for more answers.

"Name, Alice!"

"Oh his name is Edward Cullen, son of the Cullens you know that famous medician family they travel from city to city for a few generations."

As my curiosity goes beyond edges and by the time Alice mentioned his name, he turned his head on the direction of our side and then fixed his green eyes on me. When i met with his gaze, I couldn't keep stare any longer and let my hair fell over my face trying to hide my blush unsuccessfully. And I knew, I had screwed. Could he hear us in that crowded noisy room? Anyway I knew I had to hide my red cheeks before getting more embarrassed. Of course I had some experiences with boys before, but nothing serious. As far as I could remember i could never take the relationships into next steps, but i am definitely sure that, I had never felt this kind of thrill for anyone at first sight till that evening...

After this embarrassing stare, I rushed in cautious manners to the balcony in order to get some air and escape from Alice giggles. Then a few minutes later, a deep voice came behind me:

"Do I know you?"

I turned my body slowly towards the direction of voice, and then our eyes met again with a little difference this time we were indeed really close. Feeling his gaze over me:

"I don't know actually, it depends the time" I said at once in a whisper tone, that was all i could say.

While i was struggling with my thoughts about what i just said, to my surprise he was half-smiling to me now and heard my murmur speech. I had the chance to examine him more. He was tall and paler than most of the people I saw, His eyes when you look closer were darker, _without knowing that those eyes were thirsting for my blood, well at least not yet,_ I was totally lost in them. His hairs were in his ears and partly on his eyebrows were waving with wind. Then with a childish smirk on his face, he made it clear:

"Well, i have the time like you can't imagine, but how about you? Will you have enough time to get to know me?"

Totally being astonished i was trying to put his words in order, to be able to make a sense. Did he really care about to see me again? That was so fast. I was beautiful maybe but still a babysitter and couldn't compete with those kind of rich noble girls. He was too much for me. Then without I could have a chance to say a word he brushed my hair with his cold fingers that made me shudder when I felt the touch.

"You are going to get cold here, it will rain." He said in a comforting manner.

My whole body was stuck right there at that moment with his touch, feeling shiver and that electricity passing through my whole body. I felt in his eyes he felt the same._ Had he no idea what he was doing to me?_ I still don't know how I managed to speak there but at that second i had made my mind and probably my fate had diverged into a totally different path for good:

"I really would like to know you better, Mr. Cullen."

Then he smiled to my reply and took one step towards me with eyes staring now brighter:

"Do you know that, I have seen so many things in my life, so many faces... but nothing like you before?"

Dazzled by those words i was totally unable to move, feeling his breath closer now, I felt like I was ready to anything that will come from this mysterious angel. But all in a sudden we were interrupted by Alice's unpleasant voice, at least at that time I found it irritating and even wanted to kill Alice for interrupting.

"Bella! I looked for you everywhere? What are you doing here? C'mon, we need to go the car is waiting..." After skimming the scene between me and Edward she took a few steps back and made her excuse "ups. Oh, sorry if I interrupted." Feeling embarrassed by Edward's accusing looks, she was about to apologize almost. But yes, she is Alice, she never give up.

Taking my hand, she smiled to Edward a while waiting for his reaction. His face was now hard to read and stiffening his body, he gestured a smile to Alice. Then turned to me and said:

"So your name is Bella... I'm sure we'll meet again Bella. he finished turning to Alice.

"Take care of her."

All she could do was a weird nod and I, still feeling numb, let Alice take the control. She hold my hand and in a manner of speaking dragged me to exit. On the way back home, her non-stop voice and questions were just a meaningless melody at my ears. As a response I was nodding my head in every 5 minutes. But indeed my head was too busy dealing with Edward Cullen and the way he looked behind me when I was leaving. _I couldn't notice that those eyes were looking darker at that time full of lust which still I can't figure out, if it was blood or some other kind._

_He never told me._

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**Hey everyone, this my first attempt to write a fanfiction. I wonder, what do you think about the first chapter. Let me know so review :)**


	2. I Was Just a Normal Teenage Girl

**I Was Just a Normal Teenage Girl**

_There are many things drawing me to him that I can not even count. Maybe, still I am not aware of all of those unseen ties. But I'm sure that most of all, his mysterious dark side was what always attracted me. I've wasted years; maybe it was better to say decades, to understand the reasons behind his behaviors, the way his brain worked... Well, nothing stood out. And there is a voice in my head, still screaming to me that it wasn't me who started all of those. He was the one who got close to me first. He was the one who kissed me. He was the one..._

He was right about the weather; it had been raining all day long. Tired by the screams of those little monsters, I went downstairs in Alice's house and then stepped out to get some air. I desperately needed that. Even though I loved the kids, sometimes I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed. It was already dark and raining heavily outside. I was standing below the tarp trying not to get wet while lighting my cigarette with shaking hands. I must confess that I've always been a bit clumsy. And it was freezing, seeing my failed attempts to light a damn cigarette didn't help my situation any better.

Even failing in these simple things once again reminded me of my situation. This routine life was almost choking me. I wished to run away at times, leaving everything behind that bound me to this reality but I didn't have that kind of courage nor the money.

When I finally inhaled from my now burning cigarette, I felt the light touch of a hand on my shoulder. Shaking with fear, I turned back to see my intruder. When I saw whose hand it was, my fear was replaced with pure excitement. There he was standing right in front of me with his hair wet from the rain, wearing a black trench coat, looking like he was coming right inside of the darkness. When he saw my fear, he looked like a puzzled kid who had just done something forbidden.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." he said with a hand wandering in his hair. I couldn't help but smile. I found his attitude too cute to care about anything else.

"Do you always do that?" I asked, smiling lightly.

I had succeeded to confuse him even more. Looking at his puzzled face I slipped out a laugh. His impatient green eyes looked at me and asked:

"Do what?"

"You know, just come within pure darkness and put your hand on young girls' shoulders?" I said still smiling.

He seemed a bit relieved with my quiet relaxed attitude and he surprised me by telling the truth in an intimate way:

"Believe me, you are the first and I have absolutely no idea how to act."

"Well, you can start off by saying hi and also you seem really wet, how long have you been outside?" I was surprised of myself being so comfortable about talking to him, _I shouldn't have been._

"It doesn't matter." he said at once. "I didn't know you were smoking" he was pointing to my finger.

"Eerm, not always... And you weren't supposed to know where I was working." I was definitely feeling more confident and couldn't believe myself either. _Who am I kidding; it was always easy to talk to him when I was still a human._

As soon as he took a step closer to me, my heart started to beat faster and I almost lost all of that confidence in a second.

"Do you want me to tell you a secret?" he whispered at my ear. I froze where I was standing as he approached me.

"I also wasn't supposed to get this close to you either." He pulled himself back to see my eyes. _He was telling the truth since the beginning, maybe it was me who didn't want to listen._

Thanks to his confusing words, that confidence of mine was now sliding to the ground like ice melting in the dessert. Then suddenly the light on the front door was turned on. It was a sign calling me inside. I told him that I needed to go while I was begging him to stay with me in my mind.

"You know, I have to get inside. Those kids need me." I said and gave a forceful smile.

"But I will be free in half an hour." I murmured quickly. _I can see now that I was voluntarily inviting the devil into my world and of course he didn't miss the chance._

"I can wait." he said with a grin lighting up his face.

After I was done with work, I rushed outside to see him and there he was standing exactly where I left him. As if there was a secret agreement between us, we started walking. We were the only people on the street that night and there was no other sound except from our quiet footsteps. He was the one who broke the silence first:

"Do you always go home this late?"

"Sometimes" I answered.

It wasn't raining anymore. What were we doing? He was taking me home. Why was he doing that? And why did I still feel happy despite this unbearable awkward silence?

"But you know it's not safe, you shouldn't be walking alone at this time of the night." Was he worried about me?

"Don't worry; I can take care of myself. I'm not a little girl. I'm used to these kind of staff. After my mom died, I took care of Charlie, my father and the house and still went to work." I explained, trying to be convincing. It had been only 15 minutes I had been with him and I was telling someone that I don't know my life story.

Of course he made fun of me then and hell_ he was right_. He asked me how old I was in a mocking way. He lost me there. I was 17 years old teenage girl, trying to prove someone that I was capable of many many things. And most importantly I was still young in those times, rebellious and ill-tempered.

"Why do you care?" I raised my voice slightly angry this time. I didn't like the way he was patronizing me, telling me it was dangerous out here. No one knew how I got through all those years by myself and now all of a sudden a stranger was coming out of nowhere, telling me to be careful. I didn't even notice I wasn't walking anymore. He was standing a few feet away from me, trying to find the words to calm me down. It seems I was having a break down.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You misunderstood me; I didn't mean to underestimate you. I would never do that..." He came closer to my side and brushed my hair with his hand. He really seemed to feel bad about my reaction and somehow it hurt me to see him like that. Why did I break out someone so beautiful like him?

"It's okay, I just... I don't have many people around me to talk about these things. I have Alice but she is kind of, you know busy and boys they are only after one thing. I felt my face was getting red.

"It felt strange. And actually Edward, Can I call you as Edward?" I asked with impatient eyes. He nodded. So I continued:

"We have just met. Hearing those kinds of things from you… It's just..." I couldn't bring myself to say the rest because he did something I wasn't expecting at all. He buried me in his arms. From the inside I knew I needed that, I wanted him to do that since the first time I saw him, but I hadn't admit this to myself. Now, I was in his arms and god, it felt so right.

I felt like my burden wasn't so heavy anymore and I couldn't help the tears falling down my cheeks. I don't know how long we stood there like that.

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Next day we met at the same time and the same place. And the day after that.

Every day of the week passed like this. While uncomfortable silences were leaving their places to pleasant conversations, he learned more about me. Then he talked to me about himself and his family a little_ but of course editing some details like hunting animals for blood in the woods._ He was always cautious with me. It felt like I was an expensive porcelain vase which he was afraid to break. Sometimes that caused me to feel weak around him, feel depended on him. That scared me. I hadn't been attached to anyone like that before. Even though I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by our relationship; deep down I knew I liked the way we were, I enjoyed the invisible chain that tied us together.

But some things were still missing. Like the title of our relationship. What were we? As much as I tried to get close to him, I felt that he was pulling himself back, trying to put some invisible line between us. Moreover he was doubtful about others. The secrecy of our relationship was his main concern. At first I didn't care about it. I was happy just getting time with him. Then it began to tamper a corner of my brain.

One day I finally decided to talk to him about it. The night started no different than our other nights. He seemed eager to meet me, I could tell this from his eyes. But as if sensing my plan, he changed his attitude and looked more concerned with the street lights and the sky which made me uneasy. While I was walking beside him trying to get his attention and asking him serious questions; he was throwing stones into the lake.

"Edward I'm talking to you. Listen to me." I yelled standing still beside him.

He turned his head towards me:

"I'm already listening Bella, this is the fourth time I'm stating this tonight actually."

Then I repeated everything all over again. _When I'm thinking all of those again I can see that I was like a lot a whiny young girl rather than a young woman. But dating with a vampire and not knowing this is a very hard experience._

"Ok, then. What are we doing here now? Tell me because I don't know. I'm not used to this Edward. I don't know much about you. You come every day to see me and take me home. We walk the same road every day. But somehow I can't come to see you at your house or see you on weekends because people might see us. What is it?" My breath had become uneasy. I stopped a while then asked him:

"Are you ashamed of me?" My voice dropped in the end.

He didn't look at me and that hurt me the most. I saw him clenching his fists. "My father, Carlisle came." That was all he said. "We have some issues with him. And me having a serious girlfriend is the last thing he wants to hear in these days, Bella." He turned and walked towards me and took my face in his hands, brushing my cheek gently. "You are the last thing I would be ashamed of. Don't ever think like that. Please."

Our faces... there were just inches between them now. And I can't even put into words how badly I wanted to kiss him at that moment. He must have understood because he pulled himself away from my face and continued to speak.

"I don't know where we are going with this either; I just know that I have strong feelings for you Bella, much more than I felt for anyone. You seem so fragile and so pure not like any other people I've met."

I didn't know how to feel when I heard these sentences from him, excited or should I get upset. _As I said before I was just a normal girl not knowing the fact that, my date was a vampire. He shouldn't have done these things to me. _

"Ever since I first saw you in that ball, something attracted me to you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since then." He sighed and went on:

"When I see you…You make me feel like I am alive again. I want to be with you and not just like another friend of yours. I want to be more but I am also afraid just like you are. I need to be sure that you are with me."

Then he looked at me with questioning eyes. I couldn't say anything, or even breathe. I wasn't expecting him to open up to me like this. I was stuck speechless once again. As the silence went on; his eyes started to look worried, no doubt thinking I would let him down. He dropped my hand and murmured a quiet sorry.

There was the man I cared more than anything was walking away, getting farther away from me with every step he took.

"No, please wait!"

I ran and took his hand, covering his fingers with mine. He stared at me for a while without saying anything as if he didn't want to believe me so soon. But then he held my hand tighter and hugged me. I instantly felt content in his arms. I felt like I belonged somewhere for the first time in my life. _I couldn't figure out what kind of a mess I was getting into. But to tell the truth, even if I could turn back in time and live those days again, I know I would still hold his hand without hesitation._

When I went to bed that night, I had too many questions in my head enough to keep me awake till morning. But there was one thing I was sure about though and that was how madly in love I was with Edward Cullen.

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**waiting for the reviews, please tell me how it is going on**


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